When Only the Best Will Do: How to Acquire the Lethal Services of Deathstroke the Terminator

You too can hire Deathstroke for all
your assassination needs.

Make no mistake, Deathstroke is the greatest assassin in the DC Universe. According to the website of current Deathstroke writer, Christopher Preist, "He always fulfills his contract, no matter what it takes." The solitary exception to this, of course, was the H.I.V.E. contract his son Grant, the original Ravager, accepted to eliminate the Teen Titans, which Slade assumed after Grant's death. Because of his almost impossible success rate in fulfilling his contracts, to paraphrase ACDC, Deathstroke's dirty deeds are not done dirt cheap (unless, of course, you have dirt under which there are vast reserves of petroleum). And, to paraphrase the narrator from the opening of the A-Team, if you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can find him... maybe you can hire... Deathstroke the Terminator.

So, how does one such as yourself go about acquiring the services of the assassin of all assassins: Deathstroke? There are three requirements. First, one must navigate one's way through the DC Multiverse from Earth-33, where we live, to Earth-0, where Deathstroke the Terminator plies his lethal trade. The most efficient route is through Rock of Eternity, but be careful because at times the Rock can be more trouble than it's worth (refer to the Multiverse map below). If you cannot arrange this journey, then seek other assassination arrangements on your homeworld.

Text and concept by Grant Morrison
Illustration by Rian Hughes

The second requirement is to be obscenely wealthy as the price tag for Deathstroke's services tends to be exorbitant. According to Priest, "Deathstroke's fee is in the seven figures." Given Deathstroke's tendency to take extremely difficult and dangerous assignments, coupled with his own lavish lifestyle replete with palatial homes and the finest of wines, one must assume that his fee would be on the higher side of seven figures. But, if one can afford access to a mode of Multiversal travel, coming up with the funds to hire Deathstroke probably shouldn't be an issue either.

The final requirement once one arrives on Earth-0 is to establish contact with Deathstroke. Again, according to Priest, "You hire him by posting an offer on the Dark Web along with a six-figure deposit in untraceable Bitcoin." Though Bitcoin is flexible and (so far) anonymous, Earth-33 Bitcoin accounts do not transfer to Earth-0, so be sure to bring sufficient quantities of gold or other precious metals with you to Earth-0 for conversion to Earth-0 Bitcoin. This also should not be a problem due to your obscene wealth.

An artist's interpretation of the Dark Web. Your experience may vary.
Image Sorce: Cointelegraph.com

If Deathstroke accepts your offer, your intended target will be terminated. All you have left to do is to transport him to Earth-33, await confirmation that the job is done, transport him back to Earth-0, transfer the balance of his fees, and return home to enjoy your life free of a much-loathed thorn in your side.

SHADES OF SLADE: Tiny Titans' Principal Slade

Within the DC Universe's Multiverse concept, it is not uncommon to see multiple versions of the same basic character be they a vampire Batman, a Soviet Superman, a wild west Wonder Woman, or even an anthropomorphic turtle Flash. Deathstroke is no exception as there are myriad different forms of Slade Wilson active throughout the DC Multiverse. From time-to-time, I will explore these alternate Deathstrokes in a feature called "SHADES OF SLADE." So, to continue the back to school theme of yesterday's post, it's on to our first featured Deathstroke.

You do NOT want to be sent to this
principal's office.

In 2008, DC launched a younger ages title based upon the Teen Titans properties named Tiny Titans. Creators Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani take the Teen Titans back to grade school. Sidekick City Elementary School to be exact. In Tiny Titans (2008) #1, the students returning from summer vacation were given some jarring news. It seems that Sidekick City Elementary has a new principal and that principal's name is Slade...Principal Slade. This bombshell sent chills down the collective spines all of the students, but none more so than Rose Wilson, who apparently had no idea that her father would be the new head of her own school. 

The students had heard that this new principal was strict and mean...and they were right. Principal Slade spent little time imposing his ways on the school as one of his first acts was to hire Mr. Trigon as a substitute teacher, much to the dismay of his own daughter, Raven. Other questionable administrative decisions include having Dr. Light teach science, having Lobo teach P.E. and coach sports teams, and appointing Darkseid to be the Lunch Lady and then allowing him to run the school when Principal Slade took a day off, thus putting in motion the... "Finals Crisis." But on the bright side, he spoke to each students' parents or guardians one-on-one when handing out report cards and he seems to have stable and loving relationships with his children Rose and Jericho. Plus, that is one snazzy plaid jacket.